how broken promises changed my life

for those who struggle to see the beauty in heartbreak ♡

i used to believe that love, in its purest form, was the answer to all the complexities in life. that when someone said, “i’m here for you,” those words would be enough to hold things together, no matter the circumstance. but when love is paired with broken promises, that belief is shattered, and you begin to see the world, and yourself, differently.

i met him in december 2022, and for the first few months, everything seemed perfect. we built a connection that was genuine, shared moments that felt as though they were meant to last forever and intricacies we wouldn't dare voice to another. but when challenges began to creep in - ones i had no way of predicting - i found myself in a place i never imagined i’d be.

the dynamic started to shift. he faced challenges that he couldn’t fully explain, and in his struggle, i stood by him. but the changes in him - how he withdrew, how he stopped taking care of himself, how he became distant - felt like signs of something deeper than i could understand. i began to ask myself: was it me? was i not enough to keep him grounded? was this what love was supposed to feel like - this uncertainty, this distance?

by the time he suggested a break, it felt like a betrayal. “i’m not ready for marriage,” he said. and though i understood in my heart, i couldn’t ignore the sense that something was slipping away - something that wasn’t supposed to. i kept wondering: did i misread all those promises? the ones that said we’d be in this together no matter what?

so, when he went to perform umrah in august 2023, i truly thought that distance, time, and the spiritual journey would allow him to find clarity. i believed that being in such a sacred place would restore the pieces that were broken, both within him and between us. but when he returned, the distance didn’t seem to close. instead, it grew wider. the more we tried to rebuild, the more it felt like we were holding onto something that wasn’t there anymore. the promises started to feel empty, and that scared me. what happens when the foundation cracks? what happens when the words “i’ll always be here” no longer have weight?

we officially ended in october 2023. and though he said he saw a future with me, there was something in his tone that didn’t quite match his actions. he said, “if it’s meant to be, we’ll find our way back.” and so, i waited. for over a year. i believed that somehow, everything would align and we would come back together. but the waiting wasn’t easy. it was full of doubt, hope, and a fear i had never known before. and slowly, the reality of the situation set in: i was holding onto something that was gone, and i wasn’t doing it for me - i was doing it for a future that wasn’t mine to have.

in my pain, i turned to Allah. i realised that love from creation can falter, but love from the Creator never does. whilst i was searching for answers in someone else, the real answer had always been in my faith. Allah never abandons us, even when people do. and slowly, i started to understand: maybe this heartbreak wasn’t a punishment, but a redirection, one that would lead me back to Him.

in january 2025, he came back into my life. the weight of the past was still there, but this time it felt different. we talked, we reflected, and i thought maybe we could rebuild what was lost. but the truth became clear in his words. he said, “i’ve got a lot going on right now, and i need to focus on myself.” and though i had hoped for something more, i realised that what i was holding onto wasn’t love - it was a version of him that no longer existed, a version of him that was clouded by unfulfilled promises.

his words hit me hard, but they also liberated me. the realisation dawned that a broken promise doesn’t just hurt, it reshapes you. it changes your understanding of trust, your perception of love, and the very core of who you are. i wasn’t just grieving a relationship; i was grieving the woman i had become in that relationship. a woman who believed too much in promises and not enough in herself. a woman who had allowed the promises of someone else to define her worth.

and then came february 2025. he returned again, but this time, his intentions were clear. his message was no longer about rebuilding or healing, it was about something else, something that i couldn’t align myself with. i finally understood that i had been holding onto a shadow of the past, and it was time to let go.

i’ve learned more in these past few years than i ever expected. it’s been a journey of healing, growth, and, above all, trust. i’ve learned that love isn’t about holding onto someone, it’s about holding onto Allah, and trusting His plan for you. relationships, just like every other part of life, are part of a bigger picture, one that only Allah can see fully.

i’ve realised that broken promises aren’t just disappointments. they are wake up calls. they are signs that Allah has other plans for you, plans that are greater than what you thought you wanted. Allah’s wisdom is beyond our understanding, and though it may be painful, it is always for our own good.

in Islam, we’re encouraged to marry for the right reasons - namely, to protect ourselves from haram (forbidden acts), and to build a home based on love, respect, and commitment to Allah. but when promises are broken, when love turns into something less pure, it’s a sign that maybe the path we’re on isn’t the one meant for us. Allah gives us signs all the time, and it’s up to us to pay attention to them. through my experience, i’ve learned that sometimes, the greatest act of self love and trust in Allah is letting go.

healing is not linear and it definitely isn’t a straight path from pain to peace. there are days when i still think about him, when i remember the good moments we shared. but i’ve come to understand that i am not defined by someone else’s promises. i am defined by my relationship with Allah, and in the end, He is the one who truly holds the key to my heart.

so, to anyone who’s been through a similar situation, who’s had promises broken and their heart tested, know this: trust Allah’s timing. trust that His plans for you are far better than anything you could have imagined. and most importantly, trust yourself. your worth is not tied to someone else’s words - it is tied to the One who created you, and His plan for you is always greater than any broken promise.

broken promises changed my life, but they didn’t break me. they pushed me closer to the truth. the truth that my heart belongs to Allah alone, and in His hands, i am whole.

love, imaan x

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